Title: The Great Bathroom Mirror Escapades, Vol. 3
In Which Raidou Gets A Talking-To About His Sexuality, and Genma is Quite Put Out
Authors: MessyPeaches and JBMcDragon
Status: COMPLETE
Rating: Er. There's one chapter that's like, hard R/soft NC-17. R overall for language.

Summary: Following in the footsteps of Volume 1 and Volume 2, shit happens. Momo and JB laugh.

Volume 3, Chapter 1
Vol 3, Chapter 2
Vol 3, Chapter 3
Vol 3, Chapter 4
Vol 3, Chapter 5
Vol 3, Chapter 6
Vol 3, Chapter 7
Vol 3, Chapter 8
Vol 3, Chapter 9
Vol 3, Chapter 10

JB and Momo





Epilogue

Seven o'clock had Amiri standing in Iruka's bathroom, waiting. In theory Raidou was outside the door. She put her hand through the mirror and rapped a knuckle on the counter.

Kakashi popped his head in, looked over his shoulder--annoyance obvious even through the mask, and said something.

"Raidou's waiting outside?" she guessed, leaning in. Amiri paused. "May I have a hand, please?"

"Oh, good," Kakashi said on a breath of relief. "I thought I might have to let him in *here.*" He helped her over the sink, then escorted her to the porch where Raidou was waiting impatiently. He leapt up from his seat and grinned madly when he saw her. "Amiri! I'm *so* glad you're here. I have a problem." He was still smiling.

"You look awfully happy for a guy with a problem." She grinned back; his smile was fairly infectious.

He laughed and waved a hand around as if it were nothing. "Oh, I have a hangover," he explained cheerfully. "Stayed up too late drinking with Genma, and ended up crashing at his place last night--and, see, that's kinda the problem." He plopped down on the rail, boneless on three inches of wood as only a shinobi could be. "I know you said to take it slow, so we have, but--well, it's been two months. Gods, a really fun two months, even with no sex." He grinned madly. "I guess you were right about me. And him. But--is this slow enough? I've been reading and doing research and--well, I'd really like to have sex with him 'cause, gods, it's been *two months*. But you said to take it slow . . ."

She looked at him a second, mentally replaying and unraveling that dense chunk of words. "Ah. Well, what have you been reading?"

He grinned loopily and turned a dull pink, the scars mottling. "Um. Well, some stuff I got from the library that looked like it might actually be helpful, and some stuff from Kakashi and, weirdly, Gai." He looked a little nonplussed for a moment. "But Gai's stuff was like, romance novels . . ." He shook his head. "Anyway, some of it sounds fun and some is just plain weird and . . . and, well, I'm really not sure I want to try most of it just yet, but I have the feeling that the instant I say, 'Sex' Genma's gonna jump me. I'd rather not have to punch him in the 'nads before he listens, and I'm . . ." the pink returned. "Well, I guess I'm nervous."

Awww. How cute! She didn't say that, though. "Well, make sure he knows that, before you say you want to. That you're nervous. What sounds good so far?"

He turned red and re-gained the loopy grin. "A lot of it. Like, most of it. I mean, most of it's kinda like what you'd do with girls, so . . . but I don't really wanna be butt-fucked. I mean, ow." He stopped smiling. "Uh, sorry," he said, suddenly aware that she was a Girl and you weren't supposed to say things like 'butt-fuck' around girls.

"Okay, for starters, most of it isn't anything like you'd do with girls, and secondly, if you don't want to be the 'bottom', don't make him do it either. Don't ask anything of him you wouldn't do yourself, okay?" She grinned. "It's okay, I've heard worse."

He smiled again, relieved. "Okay. So, uh, how do I broach the subject without getting jumped?"

"You think he's gonna be that bad? If you say you want to talk about . . ." She paused, thought about the situation. And Genma's years of frustration. "Mmm. I see your point. Write him a letter?"

Raidou perked up. "I could do that! He's off on a mission as of earlier today anyway . . . and I could get a letter to him . . ." He grinned madly. "That's perfect! And--and I could say what's okay and what I'd rather not do, and I wouldn't have to worry about punching him in the 'nads before he listened!"

She laughed. "Just, look through your books, and write down what you want to do first, and then write down what you're not ready for." She thought. "No, wait, reverse that. Give him the good news last."

"Okay," Raidou said, standing and stretching. Then he leaned over and kissed Amiri's cheek. "Thanks. You were right." He hesitated, then laughed self-consciously and added, "About all of it. And Hana thinks it's great that Genma's around more often." He looked thoughtful. "Though I'm pretty sure he's sneaking her candy before dinner . . . I need to explain to him that she's not a puppy . . ."

"Well, that's out of my area," she said, with a grin.

He laughed. "Yeah, I know. You've done plenty." He was practically vibrating with excitement. Gods, to be laid again! It was going to be *great.* "Right. Well, I'm gonna head off and--and--write something. I dunno. Thanks, Amiri." He grinned once more and went bounding down the porch steps.

**

Raidou sat down at his writing desk and pondered the blank scroll. Some little Genin team--Kurenai's, but he could never remember their names--was heading out Genma's way and had volunteered to drop off a letter. So, he pondered his empty scroll. At long last, he put pen to paper and started to write. "Dear Genma," he began slowly, "I really want to have sex. I mean, honestly, two months is long enough. Only, I'm not sure I want to do everything I've read about, and Amiri suggested I just tell you what I'd be willing to do and not willing to do." Raidou paused and considered what he'd written, then added, "But don't jump me. I don't want to fuck or be fucked just yet." Yeah, that was blatant enough. Now, what had Amiri said? Say what he wouldn't like to do, and then what he did want to do. Okay. He glanced at his stack of books, carefully hidden from Hana since he'd had her for the last few days, and considered what he'd read.

_The Kama Sutra of Gay Sex_ was at the top. It had *pictures.* So did Kakashi's books, but Raidou was fairly certain that some of those things weren't anatomically possible without using jutsu, and he didn't want to focus that hard. At least not his first time.

He looked back at the blank paper. What he didn't want to do. He was pretty sure that list was reasonably short. "I don't want to have ass-sex," he wrote. He pondered it then added, "Not even a little. Stay the hell away from my ass." Yeah, that was probably clear enough. Then he sat back, tapping his lips with the tip of his pen. What he *did* want to do was a much longer list . . .

Well, might as well start. He wondered how detailed he should be. Amiri always seemed to think telling people *more* was better . . . "What I would like to do," he began, and started to smile. "Well, first, of course, we're going to have to get you naked." But that in itself was a Thing. He considered. "I'd like to strip you. Bit by bit. I'd start with your shirt, because that seems traditional. Not that traditional is always good, but it doesn't hurt." He hesitated, then grinned slowly. "And you know that little scar on your windpipe? I'd lick that. It's always there, kinda shiny, and I can sometimes see it over the collar of your vest. So I'd lick it, and *then* unbutton your shirt, only that would have to happen slowly. 'Cause I've seen you naked, but I haven't done it myself, and I rather like the way you smell so I'd have to go slow so I could enjoy that. And, shit, I don't know much about what feels good on you, so I'd have to try some things. Like, some guys have sensitive nipples, and some don't, so I'd have to suck on yours to find out--"

**

"Genma," Kotetsu called, handing over a scroll. "One of the Inuzuka brats just dropped this off for you. Labeled non-urgent," he added, just because it was polite.

Genma took it, glancing at the return seal. From Raidou. Curiously, he opened it and began to read. His eyes widened. He sat down and focused on not swallowing his tongue.

"You okay?" Kotetsu asked, concerned.

"Great," Genma squeaked. "I, uh--you can handle lookout, right? I'm gonna . . . I just need some privacy for this, I think," he said slowly, staggering to his feet and making his way back to the inn.

He could probably have made it a lot faster, except he couldn't tear his eyes off the scroll to pay attention to his feet.

Gods, Raidou wanted to do *what* with his tongue? And--ohhhh, of course, because this was Raidou and no one but Raidou could be so focused on food that it made an entry into first-time gay sex.

Genma wondered if he was going to be able to make it all the way back to the inn. He decided he didn't need to go that far, leapt to a rooftop with a concealing chimney, and sat.

The week until his mission was up couldn't go by fast enough. Suddenly, Amiri was his favorite person in the world.

Second, of course, to Raidou--who took things like 'tell him what you want to do' very literally.

Genma grinned at a particularly descriptive passage. Very literally. Two months of dating, and soon sex, and this--this--*letter.* He owed Amiri big time. For a whole lot of things.

But he'd think about her later. Right then, he had a Letter to read.

--End

Author notes:

Welcome to the last bit of Volume three! Man. This was a lot longer than either Momo or I expected it to be... and Osuwari00, as the only person to get THREE of the four stories listed in that one chapter, gets a drabble of her choice. Osu? Have a character you like? :D

The four stories, by the way, were:

1. The Scroll fic:
In the bathroom, a half naked Kakashi with blood on his dick looked back at them. He tapped at the glass curiously with a suspiciously red, wet scroll.

Kakashi pulled back and tried to punch his other self through the mirror.

Instead, they switched.

Iruka leapt away, then on instinct leapt forward and kneed the Kakashi as hard as he could in his bloody balls.
(several people got that one)

2. Side Effects by Chibi Risu-chan:
It changed, and suddenly Iruka was looking at himself. Pregnant.

"AH!" he yelled.

"AH!" mouthed the pregnant female Iruka in the mirror.
(several people got this one, too)

3. "Look, Look" by Meleth
"Look, look--" Kakashi said, pointing at the mirror.
(Only Osu got this one)

And the final fic that no one could find was... *drumroll*:

4. Momo's crack!fic written at the NaruComicSam'sWheelchairConAtJB's!:

To Iruka being bent over the sink and screwed senseless by ...[list of people here]... Haku (there was ice involved in that one).

So, there you have it. :) Volume 3 of the Great Bathroom Mirror Escapades is FINALLY done.

...Volume 4 will be out next week. *headdesk*

--JB and Momo