JBMcDragon (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} jbmcdragon) wrote,@ 2006-10-13 11:17:00 |
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Title: The Great Bathroom Mirror Escapades, Vol. 3
In Which Raidou Gets A Talking-To About His Sexuality, and Genma is Quite Put Out
Authors: MessyPeaches and JBMcDragon
Status: Complete, much to be posted.
Rating: Er. There's one chapter that's like, hard R/soft NC-17. R overall for language.
Summary: Following in the footsteps of Volume 1 and Volume 2, shit happens. Momo and JB laugh.
Volume 3, Chapter 1
Vol 3, Chapter 2
Vol 3, Chapter 3
Vol 3, Chapter 4
Vol 3, Chapter 5
JB and Momo
Chapter Six
Genma was doing his best to keep up, given that Raidou's legs weren't wobbly (bastard) and Raidou kept *increasing* the pace the closer they got to Konoha.
He finally took an extra big leap and tried to snag at Raidou's sleeve, only to miss. He stopped anyway, panting with his head between his knees, and knew Raidou would realize he'd fallen behind and stop.
Raidou turned and knelt, concerned. "Hey, what's wrong?" He really was concerned, this Genma seemed . . . frailer than his . . .
Genma glanced up at him. "I was going to ask you the same thing. I mean--" he paused, straightening, hands on his hips and staring at the bark under his feet. "You're . . . I don't know. The closer we get to home, the weirder you get." He looked up sidelong. "You're not going to spaz out on me, are you?" He smiled weakly. Gods, he couldn't deal with it if Raidou took it all *back* now that they were around friends and--and girls.
Raidou took a deep breath. "It's a complicated thing, Genma," he said, softly. "You trust me, right?"
Genma's smile froze. "Of course I trust you," he choked out after a minute, trying to loosen up again. He stepped forward, tugging at Raidou's vest, really wanting to kiss him but half afraid to--afraid he wouldn't keep talking. "You're not like, dying or something, are you?"
Raidou shook his head. "M'not dying. I just want to know you'll believe me." Raidou shifted, sat next to Genma, leaning against the tree. Pull him in, the smaller, almost frightened looking not-his Genma.
Genma shifted easily, relaxing slightly. "Okay," he said slowly, surrounded by warmth and that perfect Raidou-smell. "Believe what?" He snuggled in against the other man's chest, trying not to feel *too* content. Or maybe trying to ignore the gerbil in the pit of his stomach yammering on that something was wrong . He wasn't sure.
"Believe me when I tell you that you're a loveable person," Raidou said, putting an arm around Genma, both to comfort him, and to keep him from bolting.
The gerbil gained ground. Genma pulled away slightly, pressing against the arm. "Are you already breaking up with me?" he asked, trying to pretend like he was kidding.
"I just don't want you to give up when you have to deal with--" Raidou inhaled, then exhaled. "The universe is a funny place, you know?"
"Give up?" Genma asked, seriously trying to sit up now. The arm held him, and that was a little annoying. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean, there's literally infinite possibilities out there." Raidou gestured with his free hand at the tree canopy. "Worlds of possibility for every leaf. You know?"
Genma eyed him. "Okaaaay . . ."
"You're a loveable person." Raidou repeated. "You believe that?"
"You're scaring me."
"I'm trying not to." Raidou said, softly. "I'm really not. I don't want you to be overly hurt. That's all. I like you."
"'Kay, see, scaring me more." Genma pulled back, twisted free of the arm, and edged away on the branch. "What's going on?"
Raidou shifted with him. "It's complicated," he repeated. Now. How to say this without seeming crazy?
Every nerve in Genma's body buzzed. Too close. Too easy for an attack. Too easy to be ambushed. To be trapped. Fuck, it was *Raidou*. He tried to settle his nerves. Raidou wasn't going to attack him.
"M'not gonna hurt you." Raidou said, trying to sound soothing. "Not gonna attack, anyway. All right? I swear."
He really wished Raidou couldn't read him that well. He still couldn't make his muscles relax, or make his chakra settle into anything other than fight or flight mode. Normally, it took him barely a thought. When *Raidou* was causing it, though, it threw everything out of whack. "Great," he muttered finally. "So try simplifying whatever it is you want to say."
"My name is Namiashi Raidou. I'm just not your Raidou," Raidou said. "I'm kinda here by mistake, and I need to go home." *Get ready to tackle him.*
Genma stared. Not his Raidou. Who the hell was it supposed to be if it wasn't his Raidou? What the fuck did that mean? Not his Raidou, but *a* Raidou. That was insane. "Ah . . . oh." He had to get away from there, and this close there was no way he could outrun the Jounin.
"I . . . It's really close to this world. Where I'm from. Except--except it's not. For example . . . Here." He pulled off his vest, handed it to Genma in an attempt to calm the man. "For starters I realized I was gay when I was about twelve."
Genma took the vest, slightly nonplussed. He wasn't at all sure what he was supposed to do with it, except that it *did* have most of Raidou's weapons, so that was handy. "Uh. Sure." He was just going to humor the man until he could make a feasible escape. They weren't *that* far from Konoha . . .
Then Raidou was pulling off his shirt and undershirt in one mass. All those non-scars and wrong scars.
Genma twitched. "What are you doing?"
Raidou sighed. "You know the scars are wrong. Here's something you missed." He twisted a little, put his hand over his shoulder, pressed, and drew his hand back to show the deep blue-black tattoo. "It's all like that. The little . . . differences and what they mean."
Genma stared, resisting the urge to bolt right then. "So, you're telling me," he said slowly, "that you're from another planet." He didn't look toward the village. That would just be giving away too much.
"I'm not an alien." Raidou's mouth twitched. "I'm just saying that I'm in the wrong place. And I need to get home."
Genma stared at him. "And home is . . . Konoha." It was easier, oddly enough, to believe that this wasn't his Raidou. The scars were wrong. And a traitor or some sort of high level Jounin or--gods, he suspected the tattoo was real--ANBU losing his mind, casting a henge and believing himself to be someone with a hell of a better life was a nicer thought than that he was getting dumped.
It was kinda sweet that the crazy person wanted him to know he was loved.
It was really creepy that he'd had such incredibly great sex with the crazy person.
He debated options for escape.
"Home is *a* Konoha. That's where I'm going. Then you'll get your Raidou back. Who might still be straight. Which is why I want you to know you're a loveable person, and he'll come around." Hopefully.
"Oh. Sure." He was never going to get away with this little space between them. He started to edge off again, covering it as much as possible with a shuffling of feet.
He wondered if his Raidou was really gone--if this loon had taken things that far, or if it was just part of the delusion.
"Don't run. It'll be easier if you just . . . walk in with me. Okay? I need to go see Iruka." He put a hand on Genma's shoulder. "Please, trust me."
Genma kept from flinching, but just barely. "You might want to put a shirt on, first," he said, smiling.
Raidou nodded. Then hooked a leg with Genma's as he did so.
Genma tripped back, tried a crotch-shot--missed--and bolted off through the trees while Raidou fought with a shirt. He kept the vest.
Raidou tugged cloth down as he half toppled off the branch, hanging by one foot like a possum. *Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.* He spun down, flipped, trailed Genma. Too close to Konoha. Tackling him, he might have time to send up a flare. And Raidou _didn't_ want to deal with patrols . . . *If my Genma was panicking, where would he run too? Does that even apply?*
Genma patted his pockets, wondering if he had any exploding tags left. *That* would get someone's attention. They were only a few kilometers from Konoha--far enough that Raidou, who was faster, would catch him eventually. Not so far that there was no hope of help. He found one--old and half rotten, since he never used them. But the drugged senbon wouldn't do any good because the ANBU behind him was tolerant, and it seemed like a better bet. He slapped it on a tree and twisted away, changing direction down and to the right, trying to move silently and vanish into the forest.
Raidou'd never seen a *moldy* d-tag before. It fizzled out some weak, half hearted purple sparks, and then smoked a sort of pus yellow. He sighed, shut his eyes. Genma was moving fast, ahead of him. Raidou pictured the town in his head, where he was, and ran towards Konoha in a straighter line than what Genma was taking. He had to make it to Iruka's, make sure Iruka could back him up before he was hauled in as a dangerous lunatic. Poor other-Genma. He hoped he could make it up to him.
**
"Every time he speaks," Iruka said slowly, the sparkles hurting his head, "flowers appear behind him . . ."
"And I look five. Are five year olds allowed to have sex?" Kakashi countered, staring at the mirror with a sort of sick fascination.
Iruka tipped his head and pondered it. "I don't think they're really five. I think they just look it." He jumped as someone pounded on the door, then glanced at Kakashi.
Kakashi shrugged and wandered out into the main room. He opened the door, one hand in his pocket, and said, "Oh. Raidou. The mirror's working."
"Well, sort of, there's a problem with the worlds--" Iruka started to explain, the stopped. "You okay?"
"I've upset Genma. Badly. You should go tell him what the hell's going on. I think he was heading towards the hospital," Raidou said, briskly. "Is it really back? Is my Genma there?"
"Wait--Genma? When did you meet Genma? And--and no. Not quite. There are--" Iruka hesitated. How to explain?
"Small people with feathers every time they speak," Kakashi said cheerfully. "And glitter."
Raidou blinked at him. Blankly. Then, "What?" That was . . . bizarre.
"And occasionally flowers. But only when the little people look most especially feminine and pretty. I'm pretty sure those are the bottoms."
"Could we please get back on topic, here?" Iruka snapped. "How did you upset Genma?"
"ANBU outpost is by the hospital," Kakashi said thoughtfully. "More likely he's heading there." His single visible eye sharpened, and he seemed to relax even more. "Ah . . . he doesn't know about my mirror, does he?"
"I don't know. Your Iruka told me that only you and your Ibiki knew," Raidou said, choosing to ignore Iruka.
Kakashi smiled. "So you didn't tell him."
"I didn't include the mirror in my attempt to explain what the hell was going on, no," Raidou retorted. Fuck it. He could usually floor Kakashi one time outta ten in a full spar match. He felt fairly lucky today.
"Hm," Kakashi said blandly. He glanced at Iruka. And smiled. "He's headed for the ANBU base. I think I'd better head him off. Would you mind contacting Ibiki? If Genma *does* manage to start spreading this, we'll need some sort of damage control." And Kakashi transported out.
Iruka stared at the empty space for a minute. "Shit," he muttered finally, and shouldered past Raidou, closing the door behind him. "How'd you manage to let things slip when you weren't even in the village?" he yelped, dragging the Jounin along.
"He went on the mission with me." Raidou explained. "I started feeling guilty."
"He went--what? WHY?"
"He saw the mission scroll. Saw it was a cake mission. Went with me. Thanks for warning me your Genma's in love with your Raidou, by the way. Smooth of you," Raidou said, deciding that was probably what Iruka wanted to know. It was what he wanted to share, after all.
Iruka stopped moving. "Genma's in--" he began, then closed his eyes slowly. "Ohhhh, gods. Of *course* he is. That explains--oh, hell. How bad is the damage?" he asked plaintively, beginning to move at a faster clip.
"Depends. How good are your shrinks here?"
"Shit," Iruka muttered. "That bad? Here--Ibiki's." He went down an alley, down five steps, and rapped on a wooden door. "Ibiki! It's Iruka. We have a problem."
There was no answer.
"Kakashi sent me," Iruka added with an annoyed looked.
The door opened. Ibiki stared out first at Iruka, then at Raidou. His eyes narrowed. The scars twisted. "You're that other Raidou. Good. Come in."
"No, no nonono--" Iruka said quickly, stepping in front of the Jounin. "Genma knows something's wrong and is headed toward the ANBU base. Kakashi just went after him."
Ibiki hesitated, looking torn. Finally, he nodded once, grabbed an overcoat, and stepped outside.
Raidou watched Ibiki with interest. He wondered what was different about this one. This Iruka seemed to think he was scary . . . He followed. "You've got different boots here," he commented, amused.
"And you still have the mental equivalence of a dead goldfish," Ibiki said flatly without looking around. Then he jumped straight up to the rooftops. "Who let Genma know?"
"It was an accident," Iruka said.
"So if whoever told him realized they'd told him and he obviously panicked," Ibiki began near-snidely, and shot a look at Raidou, "why didn't they stop him from racing off?"
"It wasn't an accident. I told him. I didn't want him to snap when he got his Raidou back and realized the man had no idea what's been going on for two weeks," Raidou said, blandly.
"And you didn't think that maybe he'd take it badly anyway?" Ibiki said dryly. "It didn't occur to you that maybe you should keep him from running off, screaming?"
"I felt like I had to try to be honest with him. It was my responsibility," Raidou said, ignoring Ibiki's tone. "And I didn't want to attack him, draw the attention of a patrol."
"Yes, because him charging into ANBU headquarters is so much less--" Ibiki started, then stopped. He paused midrun, then dropped down off the building.
"Now what?" Iruka said, breathing hard. He wasn't a Jounin, thank you very much. He peered over the edge of the building.
Ibiki was holding a scroll while a greyhound with a Konoha headband sat at his feet, panting. "Kakashi's got him. Stalled him just before he got into headquarters." Ibiki grunted, scrawled something with the stub of a pencil he pulled from nowhere, and handed it to the greyhound.
The animal raced off.
"I suppose you're fast enough, then," Ibiki muttered grudgingly, and looked at Raidou as if he'd still done something wrong.
"Wouldn't have beaten him if it was my Genma." Raidou said quietly.
"You're fucking ANBU," Iruka snapped, defensive. "He's not."
Raidou glanced at Iruka, surprised. He'd seen Genma's tattoo himself; faded, but certainly there. He started to say as much and was interrupted by Ibiki.
Ibiki looked overly interested. "Are you?"
Raidou nodded. "So's my Genma." A faint hint of pride. "Got in when I did." Younger than him by two years, they'd still been tattooed within the same month.
"Interesting," Ibiki said, picking up the pace. "Good. Roll up your sleeves and *don't say a damn thing*. I don't want to have to jutsu this out of his brain." He turned and glared at Raidou meaningfully.
Iruka struggled to keep up. "You wouldn't really--"
Ibiki glared at him, too.
Raidou opted to cut his sleeves off instead. "You're going to have to explain it to him, he won't believe me."
"I'll handle it, we'll get him back to the apartment, and you three can explain it to him," Ibiki said flatly. "There." He veered off into the forest, moved another half kilometer, and they came upon Kakashi and Genma.
"--and he's got the wrong scars and he was talking about being from Konoha and being Raidou but not being Raidou and--SHIT!" Genma yelped, leaping backward and yanking senbon from all over. They bristled from between each finger and his mouth. "That's--"
"Ibiki," Kakashi said pleasantly. "I see you brought company."
Ibiki walked calmly up to Genma and started plucking his senbon away, tossing them into the ground with disgust. "Shurenai Genma, are you aware that we do mental evaluations on all our Jounin? Including the Special Jounin?"
"Uh--yeah--" Genma said, staring at Raidou with eyes too big for his face.
"Good. You've failed. Come with me."
"I've--what?" Genma yelped.
Ibiki, who'd turned away, turned back. "You failed. Now, you can come quietly with me, or I can have the ANBU escort--" he gestured first to Raidou and then to Kakashi--"bring you back."
"I--I didn't--He said--"
"The ANBU Goldfish has reported that, as ordered, he met you for a rendezvous. You apparently thought you'd been seeing him the whole time. You also apparently thought he was Raidou."
"I--I--no!" Genma yelled. "That wasn't--"
Ibiki sighed, pulled a seal out of a pocket, and held it up. "Do you know what this is?"
"A chakra seal," Genma said in a tiny little voice.
Raidou had to remind himself this wasn't _his_ Genma. Or even his world. Because if anyone ever made his Genma sound like that they'd be picking their teeth out of the wall. He made himself disengage, eyes going glassy and straight ahead even if his attention was on Genma.
"If you're delusional, we can't have you hurting the people of Konoha. Now, you can come quietly, or I can seal you and we can take you back to my office."
Genma's eyes flickered wildly between the four men. "I didn't make this up, Ibiki," he said softly.
"I know you believe that."
"I didn't--I wasn't delusional," Genma said, panic and frustration wending through his tone.
"I know you believe that," Ibiki repeated. "Are you coming quietly?"
Genma swallowed. "Yeah. Yeah, I--yeah." He was shaking. He glanced at Raidou, then skirted around to the other side of Ibiki like the man was some sort of human shield.
Ibiki slapped the seal on him.
Genma nearly dropped, but Kakashi grabbed his elbow until he was steady.
"The fuck?" Genma shouted.
"I said quietly," Ibiki said. "You're not being quiet."
Kakashi smiled. Raidou didn't react, except for a short vivid fantasy of whacking this ass-Ibiki into a lake. Of lava.
Genma subsided.
Raidou moved to flank his other side. Wanted to be able to see him, and was seriously debating _begging_ for forgiveness.
Genma edged away, but didn't actually move too far. "Ibiki, you sent someone who looks *just like Raidou.* This isn't--"
"Do I actually have to sic the ANBU on you?" Ibiki asked mildly.
"And if this is an evaluation, why is *Iruka* here?" Genma shouted, stopping in his tracks.
Ibiki stopped, too, and looked at him quizzically. "The other ANBU doesn't look like Raidou, and Iruka isn't here."
Iruka jumped. "What?"
Ibiki didn't react. Neither did Kakashi.
"He's standing RIGHT THERE!" Genma bellowed, pointing. "And he does *too* look like Raidou! He--he--" he turned and looked at Raidou. "He even fucking *smells* like Raidou!"
Ibiki frowned. "Genma . . .we have reason to believe you're truly ill. Starting with the fact that that man is blond," he gestured to Raidou, "and Iruka isn't here. Kakashi?"
Kakashi shook his head. "No Iruka. He's grading papers. I left him with potato and leek soup I don't think he's aware of."
Genma started. Then he stared at Raidou, looking like he really wanted help but not certain he could ask for it. Or should ask for it.
Raidou looked at Iruka instead, eyes darkening. *Some fucking world,* he almost said out loud. Instead, he sighed, looked up. "Everything will be all right," he said to the sky.
Ibiki's eyebrow twitched.
Genma stared at him. He opened his mouth to say something, then glanced at Ibiki.
Ibiki's eyebrow twitched again. "I do have a straightjacket, but we're trying to avoid making a scene."
Genma swallowed and fell in behind Ibiki, staring at the hem of the man's coat and following him from the forest.
Iruka looked ready to drive a senbon into Ibiki's back himself. In fact, he was giving Kakashi the same look. "It'll be fine, Genma," Iruka said. "Just keep walking."
Raidou half held a hand out. Palm up. "Trust us."
For a moment, Genma looked like he might shy away again. Then he looked at Raidou with painfully sad eyes and just nodded. "Yeah. Not much choice . . ."
Raidou set his hand on Genma's shoulder gently. "There's always choices. Choose to trust us. Please." He waited for Genma to shy away.
It still smelled like Raidou. He gave into impulse and leaned into the hand slightly. Even if it *was* a delusion, it was a nice delusion. "You smell like that," he murmured, almost bitter, "and I always fucking will."
Raidou rubbed at his shoulder, softly, and walked the rest of the way in silence.
********************************
Okay, some notes:
The two stories that have been found on the last chapter are:
ChibiRisu-Chan's Side Effects (that would have been the pregnant Iruka)
and
The Scroll fic, which Drelfina put on her LJ so we could find it. A warning about this fic: apparently, it's been revised so it's not so... disturbing... but, well, the grammar's bad, the spelling's bad, the plotline is twitch-worthy, and it's rather sickening, imo. It involves a lot of Kakashi raping Iruka (with a scroll, hence the term I use. I don't even know the real name.) and Iruka thinking it's okay because he loves Kakashi. (Yes, this was the Kakashi my Iruka killed in the last chapter.)
A question I've gotten a few times regarding a term used in the comments on the last chapter: To be ANBU'd. There's a group on LJ called![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
ff_anbu (I believe). They take bad stories and critque the hell out of them, making everyone else laugh. This is also called MiSTing. If a story was ANBU'd, that means the group got it and ripped it up. Gleefully.
Now, finally, since no one's even gotten CLOSE to guessing the last two stories, I'll give you a hint:
One of them is not described in the mirror.
One of them was written by our mistress of crack, Momo. (That's SUCH a giveaway... and yet I'm relatively sure it'll still be the last one found...) I'll write drabbles of your choice for the first two people to find all four fics--and two have now been found. ;)
J
In Which Raidou Gets A Talking-To About His Sexuality, and Genma is Quite Put Out
Authors: MessyPeaches and JBMcDragon
Status: Complete, much to be posted.
Rating: Er. There's one chapter that's like, hard R/soft NC-17. R overall for language.
Summary: Following in the footsteps of Volume 1 and Volume 2, shit happens. Momo and JB laugh.
Volume 3, Chapter 1
Vol 3, Chapter 2
Vol 3, Chapter 3
Vol 3, Chapter 4
Vol 3, Chapter 5
JB and Momo
Chapter Six
Genma was doing his best to keep up, given that Raidou's legs weren't wobbly (bastard) and Raidou kept *increasing* the pace the closer they got to Konoha.
He finally took an extra big leap and tried to snag at Raidou's sleeve, only to miss. He stopped anyway, panting with his head between his knees, and knew Raidou would realize he'd fallen behind and stop.
Raidou turned and knelt, concerned. "Hey, what's wrong?" He really was concerned, this Genma seemed . . . frailer than his . . .
Genma glanced up at him. "I was going to ask you the same thing. I mean--" he paused, straightening, hands on his hips and staring at the bark under his feet. "You're . . . I don't know. The closer we get to home, the weirder you get." He looked up sidelong. "You're not going to spaz out on me, are you?" He smiled weakly. Gods, he couldn't deal with it if Raidou took it all *back* now that they were around friends and--and girls.
Raidou took a deep breath. "It's a complicated thing, Genma," he said, softly. "You trust me, right?"
Genma's smile froze. "Of course I trust you," he choked out after a minute, trying to loosen up again. He stepped forward, tugging at Raidou's vest, really wanting to kiss him but half afraid to--afraid he wouldn't keep talking. "You're not like, dying or something, are you?"
Raidou shook his head. "M'not dying. I just want to know you'll believe me." Raidou shifted, sat next to Genma, leaning against the tree. Pull him in, the smaller, almost frightened looking not-his Genma.
Genma shifted easily, relaxing slightly. "Okay," he said slowly, surrounded by warmth and that perfect Raidou-smell. "Believe what?" He snuggled in against the other man's chest, trying not to feel *too* content. Or maybe trying to ignore the gerbil in the pit of his stomach yammering on that something was wrong . He wasn't sure.
"Believe me when I tell you that you're a loveable person," Raidou said, putting an arm around Genma, both to comfort him, and to keep him from bolting.
The gerbil gained ground. Genma pulled away slightly, pressing against the arm. "Are you already breaking up with me?" he asked, trying to pretend like he was kidding.
"I just don't want you to give up when you have to deal with--" Raidou inhaled, then exhaled. "The universe is a funny place, you know?"
"Give up?" Genma asked, seriously trying to sit up now. The arm held him, and that was a little annoying. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean, there's literally infinite possibilities out there." Raidou gestured with his free hand at the tree canopy. "Worlds of possibility for every leaf. You know?"
Genma eyed him. "Okaaaay . . ."
"You're a loveable person." Raidou repeated. "You believe that?"
"You're scaring me."
"I'm trying not to." Raidou said, softly. "I'm really not. I don't want you to be overly hurt. That's all. I like you."
"'Kay, see, scaring me more." Genma pulled back, twisted free of the arm, and edged away on the branch. "What's going on?"
Raidou shifted with him. "It's complicated," he repeated. Now. How to say this without seeming crazy?
Every nerve in Genma's body buzzed. Too close. Too easy for an attack. Too easy to be ambushed. To be trapped. Fuck, it was *Raidou*. He tried to settle his nerves. Raidou wasn't going to attack him.
"M'not gonna hurt you." Raidou said, trying to sound soothing. "Not gonna attack, anyway. All right? I swear."
He really wished Raidou couldn't read him that well. He still couldn't make his muscles relax, or make his chakra settle into anything other than fight or flight mode. Normally, it took him barely a thought. When *Raidou* was causing it, though, it threw everything out of whack. "Great," he muttered finally. "So try simplifying whatever it is you want to say."
"My name is Namiashi Raidou. I'm just not your Raidou," Raidou said. "I'm kinda here by mistake, and I need to go home." *Get ready to tackle him.*
Genma stared. Not his Raidou. Who the hell was it supposed to be if it wasn't his Raidou? What the fuck did that mean? Not his Raidou, but *a* Raidou. That was insane. "Ah . . . oh." He had to get away from there, and this close there was no way he could outrun the Jounin.
"I . . . It's really close to this world. Where I'm from. Except--except it's not. For example . . . Here." He pulled off his vest, handed it to Genma in an attempt to calm the man. "For starters I realized I was gay when I was about twelve."
Genma took the vest, slightly nonplussed. He wasn't at all sure what he was supposed to do with it, except that it *did* have most of Raidou's weapons, so that was handy. "Uh. Sure." He was just going to humor the man until he could make a feasible escape. They weren't *that* far from Konoha . . .
Then Raidou was pulling off his shirt and undershirt in one mass. All those non-scars and wrong scars.
Genma twitched. "What are you doing?"
Raidou sighed. "You know the scars are wrong. Here's something you missed." He twisted a little, put his hand over his shoulder, pressed, and drew his hand back to show the deep blue-black tattoo. "It's all like that. The little . . . differences and what they mean."
Genma stared, resisting the urge to bolt right then. "So, you're telling me," he said slowly, "that you're from another planet." He didn't look toward the village. That would just be giving away too much.
"I'm not an alien." Raidou's mouth twitched. "I'm just saying that I'm in the wrong place. And I need to get home."
Genma stared at him. "And home is . . . Konoha." It was easier, oddly enough, to believe that this wasn't his Raidou. The scars were wrong. And a traitor or some sort of high level Jounin or--gods, he suspected the tattoo was real--ANBU losing his mind, casting a henge and believing himself to be someone with a hell of a better life was a nicer thought than that he was getting dumped.
It was kinda sweet that the crazy person wanted him to know he was loved.
It was really creepy that he'd had such incredibly great sex with the crazy person.
He debated options for escape.
"Home is *a* Konoha. That's where I'm going. Then you'll get your Raidou back. Who might still be straight. Which is why I want you to know you're a loveable person, and he'll come around." Hopefully.
"Oh. Sure." He was never going to get away with this little space between them. He started to edge off again, covering it as much as possible with a shuffling of feet.
He wondered if his Raidou was really gone--if this loon had taken things that far, or if it was just part of the delusion.
"Don't run. It'll be easier if you just . . . walk in with me. Okay? I need to go see Iruka." He put a hand on Genma's shoulder. "Please, trust me."
Genma kept from flinching, but just barely. "You might want to put a shirt on, first," he said, smiling.
Raidou nodded. Then hooked a leg with Genma's as he did so.
Genma tripped back, tried a crotch-shot--missed--and bolted off through the trees while Raidou fought with a shirt. He kept the vest.
Raidou tugged cloth down as he half toppled off the branch, hanging by one foot like a possum. *Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.* He spun down, flipped, trailed Genma. Too close to Konoha. Tackling him, he might have time to send up a flare. And Raidou _didn't_ want to deal with patrols . . . *If my Genma was panicking, where would he run too? Does that even apply?*
Genma patted his pockets, wondering if he had any exploding tags left. *That* would get someone's attention. They were only a few kilometers from Konoha--far enough that Raidou, who was faster, would catch him eventually. Not so far that there was no hope of help. He found one--old and half rotten, since he never used them. But the drugged senbon wouldn't do any good because the ANBU behind him was tolerant, and it seemed like a better bet. He slapped it on a tree and twisted away, changing direction down and to the right, trying to move silently and vanish into the forest.
Raidou'd never seen a *moldy* d-tag before. It fizzled out some weak, half hearted purple sparks, and then smoked a sort of pus yellow. He sighed, shut his eyes. Genma was moving fast, ahead of him. Raidou pictured the town in his head, where he was, and ran towards Konoha in a straighter line than what Genma was taking. He had to make it to Iruka's, make sure Iruka could back him up before he was hauled in as a dangerous lunatic. Poor other-Genma. He hoped he could make it up to him.
**
"Every time he speaks," Iruka said slowly, the sparkles hurting his head, "flowers appear behind him . . ."
"And I look five. Are five year olds allowed to have sex?" Kakashi countered, staring at the mirror with a sort of sick fascination.
Iruka tipped his head and pondered it. "I don't think they're really five. I think they just look it." He jumped as someone pounded on the door, then glanced at Kakashi.
Kakashi shrugged and wandered out into the main room. He opened the door, one hand in his pocket, and said, "Oh. Raidou. The mirror's working."
"Well, sort of, there's a problem with the worlds--" Iruka started to explain, the stopped. "You okay?"
"I've upset Genma. Badly. You should go tell him what the hell's going on. I think he was heading towards the hospital," Raidou said, briskly. "Is it really back? Is my Genma there?"
"Wait--Genma? When did you meet Genma? And--and no. Not quite. There are--" Iruka hesitated. How to explain?
"Small people with feathers every time they speak," Kakashi said cheerfully. "And glitter."
Raidou blinked at him. Blankly. Then, "What?" That was . . . bizarre.
"And occasionally flowers. But only when the little people look most especially feminine and pretty. I'm pretty sure those are the bottoms."
"Could we please get back on topic, here?" Iruka snapped. "How did you upset Genma?"
"ANBU outpost is by the hospital," Kakashi said thoughtfully. "More likely he's heading there." His single visible eye sharpened, and he seemed to relax even more. "Ah . . . he doesn't know about my mirror, does he?"
"I don't know. Your Iruka told me that only you and your Ibiki knew," Raidou said, choosing to ignore Iruka.
Kakashi smiled. "So you didn't tell him."
"I didn't include the mirror in my attempt to explain what the hell was going on, no," Raidou retorted. Fuck it. He could usually floor Kakashi one time outta ten in a full spar match. He felt fairly lucky today.
"Hm," Kakashi said blandly. He glanced at Iruka. And smiled. "He's headed for the ANBU base. I think I'd better head him off. Would you mind contacting Ibiki? If Genma *does* manage to start spreading this, we'll need some sort of damage control." And Kakashi transported out.
Iruka stared at the empty space for a minute. "Shit," he muttered finally, and shouldered past Raidou, closing the door behind him. "How'd you manage to let things slip when you weren't even in the village?" he yelped, dragging the Jounin along.
"He went on the mission with me." Raidou explained. "I started feeling guilty."
"He went--what? WHY?"
"He saw the mission scroll. Saw it was a cake mission. Went with me. Thanks for warning me your Genma's in love with your Raidou, by the way. Smooth of you," Raidou said, deciding that was probably what Iruka wanted to know. It was what he wanted to share, after all.
Iruka stopped moving. "Genma's in--" he began, then closed his eyes slowly. "Ohhhh, gods. Of *course* he is. That explains--oh, hell. How bad is the damage?" he asked plaintively, beginning to move at a faster clip.
"Depends. How good are your shrinks here?"
"Shit," Iruka muttered. "That bad? Here--Ibiki's." He went down an alley, down five steps, and rapped on a wooden door. "Ibiki! It's Iruka. We have a problem."
There was no answer.
"Kakashi sent me," Iruka added with an annoyed looked.
The door opened. Ibiki stared out first at Iruka, then at Raidou. His eyes narrowed. The scars twisted. "You're that other Raidou. Good. Come in."
"No, no nonono--" Iruka said quickly, stepping in front of the Jounin. "Genma knows something's wrong and is headed toward the ANBU base. Kakashi just went after him."
Ibiki hesitated, looking torn. Finally, he nodded once, grabbed an overcoat, and stepped outside.
Raidou watched Ibiki with interest. He wondered what was different about this one. This Iruka seemed to think he was scary . . . He followed. "You've got different boots here," he commented, amused.
"And you still have the mental equivalence of a dead goldfish," Ibiki said flatly without looking around. Then he jumped straight up to the rooftops. "Who let Genma know?"
"It was an accident," Iruka said.
"So if whoever told him realized they'd told him and he obviously panicked," Ibiki began near-snidely, and shot a look at Raidou, "why didn't they stop him from racing off?"
"It wasn't an accident. I told him. I didn't want him to snap when he got his Raidou back and realized the man had no idea what's been going on for two weeks," Raidou said, blandly.
"And you didn't think that maybe he'd take it badly anyway?" Ibiki said dryly. "It didn't occur to you that maybe you should keep him from running off, screaming?"
"I felt like I had to try to be honest with him. It was my responsibility," Raidou said, ignoring Ibiki's tone. "And I didn't want to attack him, draw the attention of a patrol."
"Yes, because him charging into ANBU headquarters is so much less--" Ibiki started, then stopped. He paused midrun, then dropped down off the building.
"Now what?" Iruka said, breathing hard. He wasn't a Jounin, thank you very much. He peered over the edge of the building.
Ibiki was holding a scroll while a greyhound with a Konoha headband sat at his feet, panting. "Kakashi's got him. Stalled him just before he got into headquarters." Ibiki grunted, scrawled something with the stub of a pencil he pulled from nowhere, and handed it to the greyhound.
The animal raced off.
"I suppose you're fast enough, then," Ibiki muttered grudgingly, and looked at Raidou as if he'd still done something wrong.
"Wouldn't have beaten him if it was my Genma." Raidou said quietly.
"You're fucking ANBU," Iruka snapped, defensive. "He's not."
Raidou glanced at Iruka, surprised. He'd seen Genma's tattoo himself; faded, but certainly there. He started to say as much and was interrupted by Ibiki.
Ibiki looked overly interested. "Are you?"
Raidou nodded. "So's my Genma." A faint hint of pride. "Got in when I did." Younger than him by two years, they'd still been tattooed within the same month.
"Interesting," Ibiki said, picking up the pace. "Good. Roll up your sleeves and *don't say a damn thing*. I don't want to have to jutsu this out of his brain." He turned and glared at Raidou meaningfully.
Iruka struggled to keep up. "You wouldn't really--"
Ibiki glared at him, too.
Raidou opted to cut his sleeves off instead. "You're going to have to explain it to him, he won't believe me."
"I'll handle it, we'll get him back to the apartment, and you three can explain it to him," Ibiki said flatly. "There." He veered off into the forest, moved another half kilometer, and they came upon Kakashi and Genma.
"--and he's got the wrong scars and he was talking about being from Konoha and being Raidou but not being Raidou and--SHIT!" Genma yelped, leaping backward and yanking senbon from all over. They bristled from between each finger and his mouth. "That's--"
"Ibiki," Kakashi said pleasantly. "I see you brought company."
Ibiki walked calmly up to Genma and started plucking his senbon away, tossing them into the ground with disgust. "Shurenai Genma, are you aware that we do mental evaluations on all our Jounin? Including the Special Jounin?"
"Uh--yeah--" Genma said, staring at Raidou with eyes too big for his face.
"Good. You've failed. Come with me."
"I've--what?" Genma yelped.
Ibiki, who'd turned away, turned back. "You failed. Now, you can come quietly with me, or I can have the ANBU escort--" he gestured first to Raidou and then to Kakashi--"bring you back."
"I--I didn't--He said--"
"The ANBU Goldfish has reported that, as ordered, he met you for a rendezvous. You apparently thought you'd been seeing him the whole time. You also apparently thought he was Raidou."
"I--I--no!" Genma yelled. "That wasn't--"
Ibiki sighed, pulled a seal out of a pocket, and held it up. "Do you know what this is?"
"A chakra seal," Genma said in a tiny little voice.
Raidou had to remind himself this wasn't _his_ Genma. Or even his world. Because if anyone ever made his Genma sound like that they'd be picking their teeth out of the wall. He made himself disengage, eyes going glassy and straight ahead even if his attention was on Genma.
"If you're delusional, we can't have you hurting the people of Konoha. Now, you can come quietly, or I can seal you and we can take you back to my office."
Genma's eyes flickered wildly between the four men. "I didn't make this up, Ibiki," he said softly.
"I know you believe that."
"I didn't--I wasn't delusional," Genma said, panic and frustration wending through his tone.
"I know you believe that," Ibiki repeated. "Are you coming quietly?"
Genma swallowed. "Yeah. Yeah, I--yeah." He was shaking. He glanced at Raidou, then skirted around to the other side of Ibiki like the man was some sort of human shield.
Ibiki slapped the seal on him.
Genma nearly dropped, but Kakashi grabbed his elbow until he was steady.
"The fuck?" Genma shouted.
"I said quietly," Ibiki said. "You're not being quiet."
Kakashi smiled. Raidou didn't react, except for a short vivid fantasy of whacking this ass-Ibiki into a lake. Of lava.
Genma subsided.
Raidou moved to flank his other side. Wanted to be able to see him, and was seriously debating _begging_ for forgiveness.
Genma edged away, but didn't actually move too far. "Ibiki, you sent someone who looks *just like Raidou.* This isn't--"
"Do I actually have to sic the ANBU on you?" Ibiki asked mildly.
"And if this is an evaluation, why is *Iruka* here?" Genma shouted, stopping in his tracks.
Ibiki stopped, too, and looked at him quizzically. "The other ANBU doesn't look like Raidou, and Iruka isn't here."
Iruka jumped. "What?"
Ibiki didn't react. Neither did Kakashi.
"He's standing RIGHT THERE!" Genma bellowed, pointing. "And he does *too* look like Raidou! He--he--" he turned and looked at Raidou. "He even fucking *smells* like Raidou!"
Ibiki frowned. "Genma . . .we have reason to believe you're truly ill. Starting with the fact that that man is blond," he gestured to Raidou, "and Iruka isn't here. Kakashi?"
Kakashi shook his head. "No Iruka. He's grading papers. I left him with potato and leek soup I don't think he's aware of."
Genma started. Then he stared at Raidou, looking like he really wanted help but not certain he could ask for it. Or should ask for it.
Raidou looked at Iruka instead, eyes darkening. *Some fucking world,* he almost said out loud. Instead, he sighed, looked up. "Everything will be all right," he said to the sky.
Ibiki's eyebrow twitched.
Genma stared at him. He opened his mouth to say something, then glanced at Ibiki.
Ibiki's eyebrow twitched again. "I do have a straightjacket, but we're trying to avoid making a scene."
Genma swallowed and fell in behind Ibiki, staring at the hem of the man's coat and following him from the forest.
Iruka looked ready to drive a senbon into Ibiki's back himself. In fact, he was giving Kakashi the same look. "It'll be fine, Genma," Iruka said. "Just keep walking."
Raidou half held a hand out. Palm up. "Trust us."
For a moment, Genma looked like he might shy away again. Then he looked at Raidou with painfully sad eyes and just nodded. "Yeah. Not much choice . . ."
Raidou set his hand on Genma's shoulder gently. "There's always choices. Choose to trust us. Please." He waited for Genma to shy away.
It still smelled like Raidou. He gave into impulse and leaned into the hand slightly. Even if it *was* a delusion, it was a nice delusion. "You smell like that," he murmured, almost bitter, "and I always fucking will."
Raidou rubbed at his shoulder, softly, and walked the rest of the way in silence.
********************************
Okay, some notes:
The two stories that have been found on the last chapter are:
ChibiRisu-Chan's Side Effects (that would have been the pregnant Iruka)
and
The Scroll fic, which Drelfina put on her LJ so we could find it. A warning about this fic: apparently, it's been revised so it's not so... disturbing... but, well, the grammar's bad, the spelling's bad, the plotline is twitch-worthy, and it's rather sickening, imo. It involves a lot of Kakashi raping Iruka (with a scroll, hence the term I use. I don't even know the real name.) and Iruka thinking it's okay because he loves Kakashi. (Yes, this was the Kakashi my Iruka killed in the last chapter.)
A question I've gotten a few times regarding a term used in the comments on the last chapter: To be ANBU'd. There's a group on LJ called
ff_anbu (I believe). They take bad stories and critque the hell out of them, making everyone else laugh. This is also called MiSTing. If a story was ANBU'd, that means the group got it and ripped it up. Gleefully. Now, finally, since no one's even gotten CLOSE to guessing the last two stories, I'll give you a hint:
One of them is not described in the mirror.
One of them was written by our mistress of crack, Momo. (That's SUCH a giveaway... and yet I'm relatively sure it'll still be the last one found...) I'll write drabbles of your choice for the first two people to find all four fics--and two have now been found. ;)
J
