Title: The Great Bathroom Mirror Escapades, Vol. 3
In Which Raidou Gets A Talking-To About His Sexuality, and Genma is Quite Put Out
Authors: MessyPeaches and JBMcDragon
Status: In progress
Rating: Er. There's one chapter that's like, hard R/soft NC-17. R overall for language.

Summary: Following in the footsteps of Volume 1 and Volume 2, shit happens. Momo and JB laugh.

Volume 3, Chapter 1
Vol 3, Chapter 2



Welcome to the soft NC-17 chapter! :D


Chapter Three

The party just kept getting bigger, Raidou thought as the alternate Iruka walked into the house Genma and the other Raidou shared.

"I thought I'd drop by and see--hey, muffins!" Iruka said, heading toward the kitchen table.

Raidou glanced over at the empty muffin package. He kept chewing, popping the last bite into his mouth before it got stolen.

"There were," Genma snorted.

"Don't feel bad, Iruka," Amiri said dryly. "Nobody got any."

Raidou colored slightly. "I was hungry," he said through a full mouth. "Has the mirror gone back yet?" he asked, and was still pretty sure it wasn't possible to quite understand him. They'd figure it out.

"Well, you can't get rid of him yet, the mirror's still broken," Iruka said, deciding to ignore the muffin-stealing bastard.

"Damn," Raidou muttered. He swallowed, then swallowed twice more before his mouth was actually empty. He rubbed his stomach and glanced around for more food.

All the muffins were gone. How was a guy supposed to keep up ninja-levels of strength when they ran out of muffins so quickly? He swung to his feet and opened the fridge.

There were Tupperwares of Good Stuff inside. "Man. Who cooks?" he asked happily, pulling out the first Tupperware and cracking the lid. Then he caught sight of leftover pumpkin pie. He grabbed that, too.

"What are you doing?" Genma asked incredulously. "That's my pie!"

Raidou looked at it mournfully. "But--I--oh," he said, wilted. "I--I--what if I buy you a new one?"

"You can't buy me a new one, Raidou made that for me!" Genma said grouchily. "Fine, you can have it," he acquiesced after a minute. "Stay away from the stewed stuff."

Raidou grinned. "No problem. What stewed stuff?"

"The stewed pumpkins. Just stay away from it."

"Got it," Raidou said. He debated for a moment, then decided warm pumpkin pie was better than cold pumpkin pie and stuck it in the micro--mic--that white box that heated things but wasn't an oven. He peered at the buttons for a minute, half listening to the conversation going on behind him, and punched buttons until it started. Then he stood back and waited.

He didn't have to wait long before things began to happen. "Hey, Genma," he said, excited. "You didn't say it did light shows! Where do the fireworks come from?"

"The fuck?" Genma asked. He looked back, saw the flashing microwave, and cursed. We can't repeat the curse here; telepathic children might be nearby. He pushed Raidou out of the way and hit the 'stop' button, but the damage was already done. Part of the inside wall of the microwave was already black and smoking.

"Oh. Uh, sorry," Raidou said sheepishly.

"You stupid bastard!" Genma started, then stopped and took a deep inhale.

"Sorry," Raidou said again, intensely aware that everyone was looking at him, and terrifyingly aware that Ibiki was standing behind Genma. "I didn't know it would do that."

"No. Of course you didn't. You live in the Stone Age before microwaves," Genma said bitterly. He pulled the pie out and shoved it at Raidou.

"It's not going to like, explode, is it?" Raidou asked suspiciously.

"Only if we're *really really* lucky," Genma said. "Now eat your pie."

Raidou stared at the pie.

"And there's cream in the fridge," Genma added.

Explosive or not, that was too much temptation. He got the cream and poured it over, then dug in with the fork he'd used the night before. It was clean enough.

Genma poked at the microwave morosely. "Damn it."

"I'll replace that," Raidou offered, chewing pie.

"You don't even know how much it costs!" Genma said. He thought about it a minute and added, "Do you know how many S-class missions I had to take to save up for this?"

Raidou glanced at Ibiki--still looking scary--and said, "Well, I have a while. I could do some missions. It's not like I have to pay rent here or anything . . ."

"We're not giving you any sort of missions," Ibiki said. "We don't think you're an out and out danger, but we're not giving you access to any more information than we have to."

Raidou frowned at his pie. "Yeah," he said glumly. "I guess I understand that."

"You could have him do handyman work," Amiri suggested.

Raidou brightened. "I'm good at that. I'm good with my hands."

Iruka snorted at the double entendre. "Well, at least we know it's a Raidou."

Raidou looked at him obliviously. "Um. Yeah . . ."

"Well, I could use some gardening," Amiri said slowly.

Raidou's face fell. "Uh. Gardening? I kinda kill things . . ."

"Well, good. Just try to focus on the weeds."

Raidou nodded. "I could do that."

"You don't seriously want this guy like, hanging around your house, do you?" Genma said.

"Hey!" Raidou protested. "Better than looking at my giant naked ass all day!" He gestured to the black and white photo of himself.

That was just too creepy.

"You don't know that she doesn't have giant naked pictures on her walls!" Genma countered. "Maybe it's a trend here."

"Maybe they're of her!" Raidou shot back, perking up.

Ibiki bristled at him. Actually in his direction.

Raidou carefully unperked himself. "I mean, if it's a trend. And of course I wouldn't be interested."

"Because you're gay," Genma said.

"I am *not* gay!" Raidou shouted. "You're just obsessed!"

"I'm not obsessed! I'm just . . . oh god. Insightful! Iruka, do you think he's straight?"

"I think he's in denial."

"I am *not*! You're all a bunch of--"

"Yup, utter denial," Amiri added.

"--homo-wannabes," Raidou continued.

Ibiki bristled. Amiri laughed.

Raidou wilted. "I mean, *you're* not a homo-wannabe," he said to Ibiki. Then, as an afterthought added, "Sir."

Iruka shook his head, laughing. "Well, I have to go to class now. I just wanted to tell you that nothing's happened to the mirror yet. Genma, here's the key. You can go check as often as you like."

Raidou watched Iruka leave, and glanced around the room. He fiddled with his fork, suddenly worried. Checking the mirror was good. The mirror being broken wasn't. He really didn't want to stay here forever. "Um, Ibiki? What happens if the mirror doesn't go back?"

"Well, we'll have to think of something to do with you then, won't we?"

That didn't sound particularly promising. "Oh. Something like . . . not like--I'm mean, I'm not a spy."

"You're not a particularly good spy, anyway," Ibiki murmured.

Raidou scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah. I know. I always sucked at that. That was--" he glanced toward Genma, then slouched further in his chair. "Um, Amiri? You said you had something I could do?"

"Sure," Amiri said. "We can get more muffins on the way."

Well, then, at least his day was brightening. Muffins were good.

**

"Sooooo . . . let me get this straight," Kakashi said, looking at the mirror that was, for once, reflecting himself. "Raidou broke the mirror."

"The *alternate* Raidou broke the mirror," Iruka corrected, standing beside him.

"Hm." Kakashi put one hand in his pocket and tried not to think about the fact that for an alternate Raidou to have broken the mirror, Raidou had to be *in the apartment.* He was just going to trust that Iruka knew what he was doing, and hadn't let Raidou look at anything. Or touch anything. Or breathe on anything. "How much longer?"

"I put that mirror up a week ago," Iruka said, "and I sent the alternate Raidou on a cake-mission to get him out of the village. So . . . another week?"

"Hm." Kakashi thought about the stack of letters he'd written while on his mission. He supposed they could get sent to his not-mother later. Well. This was annoying.

At least he didn't have to look at Pansy-Iruka's dirty bathroom, though. That was nice.

**

"Since when do you care so much about food?" Genma asked, smiling bemusedly as they stepped into the local village's local brewery in celebration of finally delivering the stupid message.

"Pint of stout!" Raidou ordered, sitting at the bar. He inhaled deeply. "It smells like they cook here, too. Hungry?"

Genma laughed softly, leaning his chin on his fist. "Not really."

"Well, I'll just get their appetizer plate, then. You can have some if you want some," Raidou said, ordering when the bartender came by.

It came not too long later; miso soup and fried wontons and steamed vegetables, among other things. It was really an impressive little spread, Genma had to admit.

Raidou pulled a pair of chopsticks out of his vest. They were nice, ebony and ivory. He picked up a chunk of vegetable and popped it into his mouth, then followed it up with a swig of his beer. "Hey, this stuff's not bad. Where are we again?"

"Bifidusu," Genma said, laughing. He had butterflies in his stomach. He'd had them all week. Hitting on Raidou when Raidou wasn't aware of it was one thing. Hitting on Raidou when Raidou *was* aware of it and occasionally hit back was something else entirely.

Then he blinked at the chopsticks. "Man, that's the third time you've pulled something from your vest you don't normally have," he said, sitting up and leaning in. "What else is in there?" He reached across and started opening pockets, neverminding that Raidou was trying to eat.

"Do you mind?" Raidou asked. "Can you like, drink your beer and wait to do that till after the meal?"

"I don't mind at all," Genma answered cheerfully, "and no." He continued to go through pockets.

"Would you like me to just take the vest off?"

Not especially, but he didn't say that. "Well, I'm happy like this, but if you're going to *whine*. . ."

Raidou sighed theatrically and shrugged his way out the vest, handing it to Genma. Genma spread it out over the bar, shoving a bowl of peanuts away and scooting Raidou's food over to make room. Then he proceeded to go through pockets, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from other, non-ninja patrons.

There were kunai--he'd expected those--and three odd little silver tubes he'd never seen before. He sniffed one. "Pepper?" he asked incredulously.

"Salt, pepper and chili paste," Raidou said.

"Huh." He flipped another pocket open. "Since when do you keep your senbon here?" In fact, he couldn't remember Raidou *carrying* senbon, except for recently . . .

"Where else would I keep them?" Raidou asked, picking up the bowl of soup and slurping some down.

"You didn't used to carry them at all," Genma pointed out. He took one and threaded it through the cloth of his sleeve, pulling out one of his own and putting it in the first one's place.

"That one's got the insecticide on it," Raidou said without looking, "so don't stick it in your mouth unless you have a tolerance to it. And if you've already done it there's an antidote pouch on the other side."

Genma looked at him, almost offended, equally amused. "I haven't. And why do *you* have insecticide senbon?"

"Because they're small, they're fast and they're lethal. And I do have a tolerance," Raidou said as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

"Since when?" Genma asked after a moment's hesitation.

"I've been building it up since I was twenty. I could probably drink the shit now."

Genma frowned, counting weapons absently. "You never mentioned that." Somehow, it bothered him. That there was something about Raidou he didn't know. It was . . . weird. He glanced up from the corner of his eye. "You've been acting oddly, y'know. Maybe you should get checked when we get back." He kept thinking it was just the Fight, but . . .

"It should take us about a week or so to get back, right?" Raidou asked. "I'm sure I'll be back to normal by then."

"Huh," Genma muttered, and went through more pockets. He stared at the little tube he pulled from one, eyes slowly widening. "Holy shit! What are you doing with *lube?*" he bellowed.

Heads turned.

"Apparently I'm drawing a crowd," Raidou said quietly. "Haven't you ever heard of being prepared on a mission?"

Genma stared. And stared some more. Then he smirked. "What, you've been *planning* this?"

"Yes, I always plan my public humiliations. Check please! I want all this to go, and a bottle of that beer!"

"No, I mean--" Genma stopped. Maybe Raidou was acting weird because--no. But--he'd been so much flirtier. And then the lube. And he hadn't argued much about whether or not Genma should go with him on the mission . . . "Rai," he said, quickly packing up Raidou's vest, "is there something I should know?"

"Probably," Raidou said slowly. "But you're not going to."

Genma chewed on his senbon.

"You know that's bad for your teeth, right?"

Some things never changed. Genma refrained from rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. And you eating hotels out of all their food is--" he stopped. Raidou hadn't been, really. "Nevermind."

"Well, let's stay in this town tonight, since it's still a decent place to be. We're going to end up back in that crappy little shed hotel, you know that, right?" Raidou asked. "It's not even a high class enough mission to bother taking a different way home."

Back in the delightful shed hotel with ONE BED. Genma couldn't wait until then. If things kept progressing like they were, he might just get his brains fucked out. Oh, he really wanted his brains fucked out. They weren't doing him any good in his head anyway. He pulled the tube of lubricant that he'd *borrowed* from Raidou out of his pocket, checking it out as they walked. "Man, this is good stuff," he said, shaking his head. "How do *you* know what lube to get?"

"Trial and error," Raidou half mumbled. "I read the labels," he said in a slightly louder, more definitive tone.

Genma read the label. "Who'd you ask?" he said finally, almost accusingly. There was no way this label had helped. Raidou should've just asked *him.*

"Someone who knew."

Genma pulled off his hitai-ate, ran his hands through his hair, and put it back on. "Why didn't you just ask *me*?" he said finally, sounding a great deal quieter than he meant to.

"Ah, fuck," Raidou said softly. He slid his arm around Genma's shoulders and pulled him in comfortingly. "I apologize for not asking you about your massive repository of lube knowledge. To make it up to you, what do you want to do tonight? We're here until tomorrow morning, you want to go see a play? Something specific? Hell, we can go buy fireworks. You like things that sparkle, right?"

All Genma could think about was the arm around his shoulders and how nice Raidou felt. Just the right size, really. "Um. I don't care," he said finally, ducking his head because if he didn't, he was going to end up with a big dopey smile on his face, he just *knew* it. "Food might be nice, though."

"There was a little fair on the other side of town, right? Let's go over there and eat really crappy fair food. We can get wasted and beat all the carnies at their own stupid knock-the-bottle-over games."

Genma snickered. "That sounds perfect. I want those sandwich things made from waffles and ice cream and chocolate."

By the end of the night, Raidou had managed to win a big bean-bag toy.

A giant penis.

Genma nearly died laughing while Raidou beat the carnies at their own game and picked it out. "Here, for you," Raidou said.

Genma took it, still snickering. It flopped. "Aww. You got me a limp dick."

"Well, if you really need it hard," Raidou started with a grin, "you can just squeeze here and push down." He did so and all the beans raced into the shaft, making it poing upward.

Genma began to laugh again. "How'd you know that?"

"Basic bean bag physics," Raidou answered.

". . . of course," Genma said, grinning and shaking his head. "What else?" He tossed the penis over his shoulder so the balls were bumping against his back as they wandered out. This was the best night ever. It was practically a *date.* And Raidou had *lube.* His life was finally beginning to look up.

**

Raidou was blindfolded, and every time he had to throw a dart they made him take a shot.

"This is like that time in Mist Country," Genma said, sipping beer and laughing as Raidou won again--much to the other players' chagrin.

"I don't like Mist County," Raidou said.

"What? They have that casino in Mist Country," Genma snorted. "You love that casino. They have a buffet."

"Mist nins play dirty," Raidou answered. "Now, am I still hitting the middle of the bull's eye, or am I drifting?"

The other players gave Genma dirty looks. "I might get lynched if I say," Genma said cheerfully. "But you're drifting." He smiled sweetly at the other players, who grumbled and turned away. "Of course Mist ninja play dirty. But they still have that casino."

"A nice buffet doesn't make up for the potential fuckage they can make happen in your life." He threw another few darts. "Can I have those next shots in an actual drink? 'Cause you're giving me the cheap tequila and I know. C'mon man, some lime juice."

"Don't you have the discriminating palate now," Genma snorted. "And what do you have against Mist Country? ALL ninja can play serious fuckage with your life." He watched as the other players swapped out the cheap tequila for cheaper tequila.

Raidou picked up the glass, took a sip, and dumped it over the head of the person next to him. "I said, 'lime juice,' not 'crap-ass tequila.' I don't even think this shit would burn! Yo, bartender! Start mixing mojitos! Loser'll pay for it."

"Dead center," Genma said after Raidou threw his next shot. "I think the alcohol's improving your aim."

"Accuracy improves with the quality of beverage. We could do a whole study. We may need more booze."

Genma had no problem with more booze if it'd loosen Raidou up enough to do what he *hoped* the man was planning on doing. Of course, for the Jounin the loosen up, Raidou needed to stop doing the chakra trick to metabolize the alcohol faster . . . a trick Genma couldn't be *sure* Raidou was doing, but he'd be doing it in the other man's position.

Of course, he was kinda sneaky that way, and Raidou might not even know that jutsu. Then again, Raidou had been full of surprises that week.

Maybe one more. If Genma was really lucky. He hoped he was really lucky. He really wanted to get lucky.

Raidou, for his part, was metabolizing most of the alcohol. He really had to piss. Still, he was almost at the point where he figured if he had one or two more drinks he could stagger home and pass out on the floor. And the way the rest of the day had gone, he had an idea that it was probably for the best if he passed out--rather than have to deal with Genma. He threw the last dart, had two more drinks, and then let himself topple. He figured Genma was smart enough to pick up the money on the table.

Genma nearly managed to catch Raidou on the way down--in a perfect world he would have caught the other man--but he was close enough to make sure Raidou landed on his butt rather than his back. He scooped up the cash, grinned at the others, and dragged his frient to his feet. "C'mon, babe," he grunted, lifting. "Bedtime." Bedtime. What a wonderful word.

Raidou mentally rolled his eyes and decided to stay unconscious. Yes, unconscious was good. Unconscious was safe. Unconscious was not fending off a Genma who obviously thought he deserved sex.

Genma dragged Raidou up the stairs, nearly whistling. He still had lube in his pocket. "You can drop the act now," he said cheerfully, closing the door to their room.

Raidou staggered over to the bathroom. Staggered.

Genma frowned. "Shit, you didn't really drink all that, did you?" he asked, dumping the money on the table. Next to the lube.

Raidou peed in the bathtub because it was easier to hit than the toilet.

"Shit. You did," Genma said, crestfallen. Well, maybe he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't still have sex. Genma was willing to have bad sex. It was sex.

Raidou slid to the floor in the bathroom and stayed there.

"Oh no," Genma muttered.

Raidou started to snore. Heavy, drunken snores. He was drunk enough for them to sound highly realistic.

"Damn it," Genma growled, standing over the other man. He couldn't just *leave* him there. Besides, maybe he'd sober up enough in the middle of the night and they'd have surprise sex.

He grabbed Raidou by his shirt and hauled upward, grunting under dead weight as he hefted the body toward the bed. The apparently-going-to-stay-sex-free bed. Damn it.

He flopped Raidou down and glared at him.

Raidou snored. Then he snuffled.

Genma sighed and yanked off the man's boots, then eyed the rest of the clothing. Surprise sex was easier when everyone was naked. Happily, he started stripping off Raidou's shirt, unbuttoning it gleefully and dragging it off broad shoulders. With Raidou half naked, the world seemed like a cheerful place. He whistled as he started on pants--and stopped.

Funny. He didn't remember that scar. He traced it, starting at the belly button and working up. That looked like a nasty one.

Raidou's stomach twitched. So did other things. Genma started to grin. It faded.

There *should* have been a scar on Raidou's chest, from the collarbone to the pectoral. Genma traced where he knew it used to lay. The skin was smooth. Oh, there were other scars bisecting the area, but . . . not the right one.

He sat back on his heels, perched over Raidou's legs. This was . . . weird.

Raidou lay very still and thought frantically, feeling the finger trace first scars he had and then lines that weren't there. Damn it. Maybe they *should* have sex. It might keep Genma from getting too paranoid. He shifted, made an odd noise, and half opened one eye. "Gen?"

Genma jumped, yanking his hand back from the scar-that-wasn't. "You're awake?"

His mind worked, trying to think of things both sufficiently drunk and aroused that might distract Genma. "C'mere," he started with.

Genma smiled sheepishly, turning his head and scratching the back of his neck. He pulled the hitai-ate off and scratched again, still looking away.

That, Raidou knew, was a bad sign.

"You're really drunk, aren't you?" Genma said on a half-smile.

Fuck fuck fuck, Raidou thought. "'M cold," he half-whined.

"I'll get you another blanket," Genma offered, ignoring the obvious cure for chilliness. He eyed Raidou. He really, really wanted this to be real. Really a lot. And suddenly he couldn't get over this stupid paranoia, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't even think of anything sexual to go with the word 'hard,' he was so paranoid.

He was probably imagining things. Yes. Yes, his libido said he was imaging things, and surely his libido wouldn't lie to him.

"I don't wanna blanket," Raidou said in a little voice. The voice worked on his Genma, and he could only assume it would work on this one, too. "They don't even have extra blankets in this crappy hotel. You said."

Damn. He had lied about that. It had seemed like a good excuse at the time. Snuggling up to stay warm had seemed *delightful* that morning.

Before the strange and missing scars. He traced the one on Raidou's belly again idly. "When'd you get this?" He was being paranoid. Really paranoid. Oh, how he hoped he was being paranoid, and he'd happily go in for counseling.

"You were there. Fucking Mist Nins."

Genma sat farther back on his heels. "Oh?" Who used the term 'nins'? It bothered him. It bothered him even more that there were other words Raidou used that he never had before--words that sounded like slang Genma had never heard.

Sitting back was a bad thing. Contact was better. Contact meant he could properly distract the Special Jounin. Raidou sat up. This brought his knee up against Genma's butt and effectively knocked him forward. The sudden weight made Raidou topple back, and he made the most muddled noise he could manage and put his arms around Genma's shoulders.

He *smelled* right. Genma relaxed for half an instant, because it felt so damn good and he *smelled* right. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wanted to point out that they hadn't fought any Mist nins, but it was too accusatory.

And his libido was assuring him that this was Raidou. If anyone knew, it would be his penis, right? In fact, his libido seemed to think that the best way to tell for certain was by a breath test. He hadn't known his dick was equipped with that.

"Mist nins?" he asked, trying desperately to hold to that train of thought. There were hands on his back. And they were traveling.

Raidou made a sort of agreeing noise and tilted his head, mouth hitting Genma's earlobe. It was hard to tell if he meant 'Yes, Mist nins' or 'Ooh, earlobe.'

Genma "Mmmm,"ed. That was nice. That was very nice.

And totally distracting. He debated, then nipped back at the neck by his nose and pushed up, sitting with his hands planted on Raidou's chest. "Look, uh--" how was he supposed to not have sex with the guy he'd been wanted to have sex with for YEARS? "Ummmmmmm . . ." Hell, he didn't know how not to have sex with *anyone*. He'd never actually said 'no' before.

Did 'I have a headache' actually work?

"You have beer-breath," he said at last. It was slightly more plausible.

Oh, gods. He really wanted to have sex. Really really.

"So don't kiss me. Problem solved!" Raidou said, and then realized there was probably a nicer way to put that. He gave a half-shrug and patted awkwardly at Genma's knee.

Genma laughed and flexed his nails against Raidou's chest. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it. He debated for another minute, then sighed and shook his head. "Man, you're drunk and, uh," what was something cliche, but not too cliche? "You're my best friend."

Even Raidou knew that had probably never stopped Genma before. He played dumb. "You're my best friend, too," he said back.

Genma chuckled awkwardly and started to push away. Damn it. He had a hard-on. Stupid libido.

Raidou let him get almost all the way off before jutting his lip out in a carefully calculated pout and saying in as sad a tone as he could muster, "So . . . you don't wanna have sex with me?"

Genma's heart stopped. It really quite hurt a lot. He hadn't known about the hurting part. "Uh." Yes. Yes, he did. And those eyes were going to be the death of him.

If this *weren't* Raidou, he'd have been killed already, right? Surely sex wouldn't hurt. There had been plenty of opportunities to hurt him in his sleep. No reason to wait for orgasm. Right?

Raidou was still looking at him with the sad, hurt expression--an expression carefully calculated to break this Genma down. Raidou couldn't afford for him to figure things out.

Genma swallowed. Damn it, no one could expect him to be that strong! "Oh, fuuuuuuck," he sighed. "I'm so going to regret this tomorrow . . ." And then he just gave in to the inevitable--and his libido--and leaned back down to kiss Raidou's neck. He liked Raidou's neck, scars and all.

If Raidou smirked it didn't matter, because Genma wasn't paying attention to his face anymore, anyway. He let his hands go back to Genma's waist and mentally went over all the spots he knew Genma was fond of. He wasn't particularly interested in sex with this Genma--it *wasn't* his husband--but, hell, if it knocked him off track Raidou'd bugger his little brains out.

Genma squirmed. Damn. Raidou was good at this. Oh, gods, he really really really hoped it was Raidou. Really really really really. But if it wasn't, at least it was someone who was apparently really really good at this. He squirmed lower to nip at collarbones and scars-that-shouldn't-be. He was going to try not to think about that, though. Instead he thought about Raidou's hands hitting all those nice little spots that most people missed.

Raidou was trying to remember what else had made Genma melt that first time. Fuck, that'd been a long time ago. Hmmm. How about . . . Gen-chan! Pet names! That might help! "Ah, Gen-chan," he moaned.

Genma froze. Gen-chan? Gen-chan. He could get used to Gen-chan. Not something he was really expecting, but something that could be nice.

Oh, gods, he really wanted this to be real.

Raidou decided the angles were all wrong. He couldn't get to any of Genma's really sensitive spots, and it was easier to control things from the top. He rolled Genma to his back, starting on his shirt. Then he had to stop and began picking out senbon. Damn. That was a mood killer. "There's little sharp things in your shirt, Gen-chan," he said, deliberately slurring and hoping Genma would help, because really he didn't feel like picking out these little pieces of metal right now.

Genma's skin was tingling. That was stupid, but it was. "Um, wait," he said, and struggled out of his shirt himself. Avoiding senbon had become automatic--and besides, he was laying on one. Because Raidou had rolled him over. Raidou. Hee. "There's--um--" he was going to point out that there were senbon in his pants, too, but it seemed premature.

Raidou shifted and started nibbling on his neck while Genma was getting out of his shirt. There was this spot, right behind his ear, that worked on his Genma, and he wondered if it worked on this Genma, too.

Genma's breath hissed out as sparkles of pleasure raced down his neck and tightened in his belly. There were going be all sorts of premature things if Raidou kept this up, Genma reflected, pausing in his shirt-struggles and twisting so Raidou had better neck-access. Damn, if the guy was this good *drunk* . . .

They needed to get sober. And have more sex. Not necessarily in that order, but . . .

Genma shifted a leg until he could rub his heel up along Raidou's sadly-clothed thigh, and twisted the rest of the way out of his shirt. Hands. Hands were good. Hands could touch. "You're wearing a fuck of a lot of clothing, man," he muttered.

Genma's skin was warm and getting warmer by the minute. That, Raidou figured, was a good sign. More aroused meant more not-paying-attention. "Naked, then?" he asked, leaning all his weight on one elbow so he could slide his other hand up Genma's ribcage. There was a spot right up Genma's arm . . .almost the back of the pit, really . . .

Genma eeped and twitched away. "Harder or softer, but that tickles," he muttered.

Raidou went with harder, and paid close attention to Genma's body language. Not like his Genma's... But a related dialect, one he could pick up quickly.

Harder was always good, Genma thought as his brain happily melted. Gods, harder was *always* good. He shut off the voice that was saying Raidou didn't believe himself to be gay and just listened to his libido, cheerfully insisting that, hey, Raidou had changed his mind. There was lube! Lube meant pre-planning! And--ohhhh--that spot was *perfect.* His breath caught and held for just a moment. He shivered.

Raidou debated and decided since he really didn't know what this Genma might have, and since having a sudden sober sentence to ask if he'd been disease-checked recently would blow his cover, he decided to go with, "Condoms?"

Genma had to think about that. Condoms? What were these mythical things called condoms? He couldn’t really be expected to think about condoms when Raidou's fingers were doing that swirly thing on his ribs, making his muscles shudder, could he?

Of course, Raidou didn't seem to be in any hurry to do any more swirly things, so maybe he should remember the mythical condom-things. He got his brain out of his libido and flopped a hand toward his vest. "Uh, yeah. I think--there--third pocket. Inside." Which meant Raidou got off him, and that was just all levels of sad.

Third pocket, third pocket. He didn't actually know if Genma had meant left or right, so he didn't have to act too hard to drunkenly fumble through before finally giving up and shaking the whole vest until a roll finally fell out. He picked it up and set it on the counter. Next to the lube. If he had to sex the weirdly-young Genma, fine. He wasn't taking diseases back to his perfectly-aged Genma, though. He made a mental note *not* to tell Genma he thought of him as perfectly aged. He doubted it'd go well.

Lube. Luuuuuube. Genma was loving that word. Even 'condom' wasn't too bad.

He tried not to look at the wrong scars, because that was just weird. He needed his head examined that was all, because--well--his brain started to freak out again. So he did the most sensible thing he could think of. He grabbed Raidou and yanked him back down, breathing in the *right* scent. He knew Raidou's scent, and it was good.

All right. Okay. Don't loose contact with him, Raidou decided. Loosing contact gave this Genma time to breath. Giving this Genma time to breathe meant he'd get suspicious. So he let himself get pulled, rolled with it, let himself land on his side and tugged Genma in. "Want--" he started, then stopped, hands going down a sleek torso to pull Genma to him by the hips. That outta work.

Genma practically whimpered, except shinobi didn't whimper. Hip pulling was good. Very good. And it was Raidou and it did smell right and he just didn't have to think too much about the wrong scars, it was probably his imagination. He squirmed up and oooh, other-hips against his hips and that was good. He hooked a leg around Raidou's and realized--damn it, they were both still wearing *pants.* "Um. Clothing," he muttered against nicely-warm-skin-that-smelled-so-good.

This Genma was already apparently losing brain function, Raidou realized, if that 'um' was any indication. He encouraged it by rolling his hips against Genma's. "Round one," he countered.

"Round--ohhhh," Genma groaned, shivering at cock-to-cock contact--even if there*were* pants in the way. "Okay. Right. Round one. More than one round?" he asked happily.

"Uh huh," Raidou chirped, focusing on getting that shiver back.

Genma didn't giggle. Really. This was the best day ever. He started to say something, and Raidou kissed him. That was better. Oh so much better than talking. He still tasted like minty rum, but Genma didn't actually mind that. It was booze. All booze was good. The beer breath thing had been a total lie, anyway. He rolled his hips up, thrusting slowly against Raidou, because damn that felt good. Hee.

Oh, gods, he was *giddy.* It was vaguely embarrassing, or would have been if he hadn't been, well, giddy.

Raidou was thinking the same thing, going back in his memory banks and trying to remember if Genma had giggled quite so much during sex while fairly sober. Well, at least he was fairly easy to manipulate. He let his hand slide down the other man's back and dip under the waistband of his pants.

Genma shifted to make it easier to Get Them Off Now, and hoped Raidou got the hint. He'd had sex with *women.* Surely the cues were somewhat similar . . . They all had hips, after all.

Raidou ignored the blatantly obvious cue and just let his hand slide down and knead. This Raidou was supposed to be some sort of idiot virgin, right? Might as well let Genma take the lead on a few things.

Genma made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and rolled entirely, one knee on either side of Raidou's hips. "*Off*," he said loudly. Then he tugged at Raidou's pants, because that was simply easier.

Raidou nodded and pulled his hands away, lifting his hips so Genma could Get Them Off Now. Or at least down. 'Cause Genma would probably definitely settle for down. At least he was sex-starved enough to be easy to manipulate.

Genma had other ideas. He stripped them off and tossed them to one side gleefully--away with the pants!--because, hey, he liked Raidou's legs. And hips. And dick. And stomach. And pecs. And really just everything. Yum. Then, since Raidou wasn't doing it--he really could be a moron sometimes--Genma wriggled out of his own pants. This was good. This was nice. Skin was perfect. Everyone should just go naked allllll the time.

Raidou pulled him back for skin-to-skin contact, mindful of the fact that a non-stimulated Genma was a thinking Genma, and a thinking Genma would have probably figured it out by now. Or at least figured out something was wrong.

Genma licked a scar because it looked like a good idea, and with hands tugging him back down, well, it just seemed like a better idea. Even Raidou's *scars* were hot.

Even if they were the wrong scars. He flinched, paused, and tried not to look at the collarbones.

The burn scars were right. The smell was right. The burn scars were right. Maybe the collarbone scar had finally healed? "Do scars heal entirely? Bigish ones?" he asked hopefully.

Damn. Scars, again. Raidou thought quickly, and came up with the best way he knew of to get Genma's attention off the missing scars and induce a bit of guilt--guilt was a great distracter--all at the same time. "No, my face is probably going to look like this forever." It was far too coherent a sentence, but he was pretty sure Genma wasn't thinking too much right then--especially since he'd finally maneuvered Genma back to a position where there was cock-to-cock contact.

Genma pulled back, alarmed. "That's not what I meant," he nearly snapped. "I like those scars. I meant--" he considered it, and shook his head. "Nevermind. I'm going batshit nuts," he muttered, and leaned in to kiss Raidou and the minty alcohol lips. And tongue. The tongue was even better. Since it was invading his mouth. And sliding along his tongue. And--ooohhhhh, gods . . .

Raidou reached out without looking, grabbed at the tube of lube. A gobfull down there right now'd be good. Cut the friction, turn it into the hot, slippery mess that he and *his* Genma both preferred. Better than a dry rub-fuck, any day. This Genma's eager little kisses were all right, at any rate.

Genma groaned at a hand and lube at his dick. See, that was better than anything. At. All. He stroked down Raidou's chest and bit at his lips, thrusting eagerly. Gods, that was good. That was really good, and he could already feel it up his whole spine and he really hoped he didn't embarrass himself too badly.

Raidou pulled his hand away, let his cock slide across Genma's. Yeah, much better. Way better, judging from the little half pleading noises Genma made as his hips twitched. Raidou started to count to twenty, kissing Genma again and wondering if he'd make it past fifteen.

Yup, Genma realized, he was going to embarrass himself. Fuck. Well, hopefully Raidou was drunk enough that he wouldn't mind. Maybe he could just apologize ahead of time, and they could have more sex. He'd said round one, right? Right.

Damn it. He looked up briefly. "More rounds--right?" he whimpered.

"Uh huh," Raidou agreed. "Lots of sex." Anything to keep Genma from thinking too much.

It was exactly what Genma'd been hoping to hear. "Oh, thank the gods," he muttered against Raidou's shoulder, and fuck it smelled good and right and the rubbing was just perfect.

Nine. Ten, Raidou counted. He went just a little bit faster, hand sliding down to cup just a little bit at a perky little butt. Well, the perkiness was kinda nice, he supposed. Didn't cancel out the delirious giddiness that almost made him want to shake the man. Oh well. He was stupid and in love. Raidou could let it slide.

"Fuck," Genma hissed, because he really really was going to embarrass himself and if he didn't *stop* thinking 'really' he was really *really* going to put a senbon through his eye. After the sex. There were priorities.

Raidou had to wonder if Genma'd be totally freaked out if he fingered him. It sped his Genma along, but the Raidou in this world was supposed to be some idiot virgin when it came to men, right? Still, he was pretty certain you were supposed to stick your fingers into girls, too. Maybe he could claim he was just doing that.

Genma was pretty sure the end was nigh, and then there were *fingers* sliding up his ass and somehow Raidou managed to hit the *exact right spot* on his first try and they were still slippery and--oh fuck. He made some sort of squeaking moaning whimpery noise and his muscles all tightened and for a long, beautiful moment the world was a very perfect place to be. Very perfect. Really really.

He collapsed, panting on Raidou's chest. "Lots of sex?" he asked hopefully after a minute.

"Yep," Raidou answered.

Genma grinned loopily. "Cool."

Gods, Raidou hoped he could get him to pass out.

***********