A JB-drabble for midnightdiddle, for thinking of the name that made me laugh the hardest. ;-D



Names 1/1

Shino brushed past the flap that was Kiba's door, stepping into the humid air beneath the canvas. "Kiba, are you--" he stopped and blinked in the dusky light.

Kiba was gently, carefully poking at something small and furry.

"What are you doing?" Shino asked, baffled. Truthfully, his boyfriend often baffled him.

"Feeding it." Kiba prodded the creature again, and Shino realized he was holding a bit of cheese.

"What is it?" Shino asked, stepping closer. His nose wrinkled in distaste. "Kiba, that's a rat."

"No it's not!" Kiba defended hotly. "It's a mouse!"

Shino stared. "It's a *rat.* It's a young rat."

"It is not! I need a name for it."

"Feed it to Akamaru," Shino suggested, and from the corner Akamaru whuffed. Shino was pretty sure the dog was agreeing with him.

"I wrestled it *away* from Akamaru. I'm not going to give it back to him! It won't eat," Kiba muttered, sitting back. "Here, you try."

Shino stared at the bit of cheese, now held demandingly out to him. "No. It's a rat."

"It's a mouse! It's cute."

Shino looked at Kiba like he'd lost his mind. "Maybe the heat's getting to you . . ." he said finally, voice as dry as the village of Sand.

"Bastard," Kiba muttered, and went back to poking the rat in the nose with his cheese. "C'mon little guy! Eat something!"

"Maybe someone cast a strange jutsu on you," Shino said to himself.

"What should I name it?"

Shino stepped forward, looking at it more closely. Kiba had bought a bird cage for it, and it was sitting in the bottom, unmoving. "It's dead," Shino pointed out.

"It is not! Just hurt!"

"It's dead," Shino said.

Kiba glared at him. "What should I *name* it?"

"Dead Rat."

"It's not dead, and it's not a rat!" Kiba yelled. He sighed and glowered down at it. It didn't move. "What did you come here for?" Kiba asked forlornly.

Shino stopped. He blinked behind his glasses, stunned. "I've completely forgotten. This clan is bad for the brain."

As if to prove his point, Kiba leaned over the dead rat and said, "Maybe I'll name him Shibi."

"You're not naming a dead rat after my father!" Shino nearly yelled--which for him, meant he just spoke more intensely.

Kiba grinned. "I could name it The Cute Little Mouse That Isn't a Rat."

"Good," Shino said, deadpan. "We'll call it TCLMTIaR for short."

"Ticklimitiar? That'll work!" Kiba said cheerfully.

Shino resisted the urge to rub his eyes. He turned and headed for the door. "I'm leaving."

"If you stay, we could have sex," Kiba suggested happily.

Shino paused. Have sex with his insane boyfriend who was keeping a dead rat? Possible. "Is the rat staying on the bed?" he asked solemnly.

Kiba glanced at it, then laughed and tossed the cage to the floor. The rat bounced. "Better?" Kiba asked, voice gone low and purr-like.

Shino smiled and glanced toward the door--the *flap*--and hoped no one was going to come in. By the time he got to the bed Kiba had stripped to the waist and was tugging at Shino's belt with agile hands.

Then something ran over Shino's foot.

He made a most undignified squawking noise and leapt up beside Kiba. "What was that?"

Kiba was looking around, and Akamaru had jumped up from his place in the corner, tail wagging as he snuffled through shadows and mountains made by blankets. "The mouse is alive!" Kiba said happily.

"The *rat*?" Shino snapped. Then he realized Akamaru and Kiba were both tearing up blankets. "It's in *here*?" Shino said, once more losing his dignity. He scrambled off the bed.

"No, Akamaru, get *back*! Don't *eat* it!" Kiba yelled, shoving at the two hundred pound dog ineffectually. It only seemed to excite Akamaru further; he barked and waggled all over, darting around Kiba to tear at the comforter.

Something gray streaked across the floor. Shino leapt farther away. It vanished under the canvas wall, and Shino breathed a sigh of relief.

Right up until Akamaru went barreling after it.

Shino summoned every kikaichuu he had, bringing them up in a whirl and sparkle of pain. Akamaru hit the wall. Posts twanged as they were ripped from the earth. The canvas started to collapse.

Shino made the kikaichuu fly, pressing out against the cloth, keeping him and Kiba from being smothered. It almost worked.

He stood in a dark cave, his breathing drowned out by the hum of bugs.

"Huh," Kiba said from the darkness. "Told you it was alive."

Outside, someone shouted, "Ack! RAT!"

***************************